EM disease-health

EM disease-health

I know I've been active on and off on here and want you to know I'm alive and still fighting every day. I have had the suicidal thoughts on and off since my last post but they are getting less and less frequent and still have no plans of self harm. My EM is progressing which means a lot more CBD Oil intake and we're giving it until March or so to see if it'll work long term. The reason why we're giving it until March is because I started it at the end of July and had a few heat waves after I began the treatment with our last one being in the beginning of September and want to see how I do through the colder weather which also means I'll be taking it for my Raynaud's as well. Our weather is starting to finally cool down which I'm loving so far and hoping the oil will end up working long term.. anyway, I don't know if I mentioned in my last post that I became involved with a guy so basically saying I'm in a relationship and we grew up together and someone I trust 100%. He has been a part of my strong support system over the years especially since October 2014 when the EM started.. he moved to Boston the last week of August so we are on opposite sides of the country which means long distance and 3 hour time difference but he still remains as one of my strong support system people.. we don't talk every day because he's so busy with school getting his Masters in Theater Arts and is doing wonderful but we do Facebook and text several times a week so despite the distance, time difference, and the busyness, he's still committed to our relationship. He knows about the suicidal thoughts and has been helping me on so many levels and I'm so very grateful for him. I was taking Human Development this semester but dropped it on Thursday because of too much being on my plate and actually had a mental breakdown so I'm out of school until spring. It has lightened my stress a little bit but I have to take care of my well-being which when I was taking the class, I was in a way neglecting self care and if I continued to not take care of myself, we would be facing a problem in the next several weeks that wouldn't want to be dealt with so I had to drop. I've really been struggling but have a couple of huge things occur.. well to me they're huge which have been blessings.. in the past I've mentioned several times how I would no longer have a relationship with my younger sister because of the verbal and emotional abuse, disrespect, degrading comments, etc.. well my sister has come to realize how real my disease is and has stopped the toxicity between us which is amazing.. She approached me the other day and said "Kay Kay (she has always called me that because she couldn't pronounce Katie until she was 5yrs old which is a long story), I sincerely apologize for everything I've said over the last few years about your EM and I understand it's real and not in your head or you're bringing it on yourself. I want to help you in any way I can when you need it and I hope you'll accept my help. I am asking for forgiveness but if you don't or need time to get there, I understand. I also want to make the effort to have a relationship with you and if you're not ready or don't want it, I understand that as well. I just want you to know I'm sorry and I love you and want to make things right between us." I was in tears and since then, we've found a tv show I got her hooked on and we are both making the 100/100 effort to repair our relationship and have gotten closer.. so God has helped both of us get to a healthy place which I never thought would happen even though we still have our moments. So very grateful for it and things are wonderful between us. Also, I stopped by my church yesterday to sign up for the Harvest Carnival on the 27th and to my surprise my sister wants to volunteer with me and she's super excited so that's huge too. She's never done it before and I did it for 5 years with my last year being my first semester of college Fall 2008 and decided to help out again this year. We may be separated while doing the first shift at the carnival but we signed up for the same activity where there will be several booths so she knows I'll be close to her if she needs anything and separated. She'll do great though whether they put us together or not. Choosing to do the carnival is huge for me because I haven't done any activities like this since my EM and Raynaud's started and working first shift will be easier than 2nd shift. I'm still really struggling but some positive things are happening so that's a blessing. I also have a close friend who knows about my EM and Raynaud's and how much it affects me and I've had suicidal thoughts and she's been staying in touch with me throughout the day and we actually started working on a story and started a group on Facebook for an interest we share so she's been a huge blessing as well. I'm also keeping in touch with melissa7 and amy28 so they know I'm still alive as well. I've been blessed through my struggles especially with the EM worsening recently.. just wanted to give an update and I'll keep y'all posted. Thank you to y'all for your support and grateful for each of you❤

Restoration and relationships are big. So happy for you and your sister. Thankful for the Autumn weather. Enjoy volunteer time together. May you achieve more relief with your CBD oil. Thanks for the update. You are wise to reduce the stress of course work. Hard with writing and such too. Have you seen the TV show 'This is Us' my daughter had me watch series 1 and I am hooked. Great acting, 'meaningful messages about life and family relationships. It is addicting. Take care Sweet kate12

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