I know that you're supposed to just imagine being "happy wife" but sometimes happy wife has smaller buns within it. I noticed that I don't like chasing men.. scratch that. I love being chased and I love the attention and being treated like a princess and maybe feminists will say no or whatever, but I've noticed myself fighting with this for too long..I hate waking up to cook bloody breakfast for a man, I like being cooked for and I'm.not bothered about trying to balance shit. I don't want balance.. I just want to be taken care of. Is that so bad? Jesus haha. I've lied and pretended to myself that I didn't care but today I realized I had been in the state of "chaser" nd I miss being chased. I miss the flowers and the calling and attention and the princess treatment. And then today I saw news about the Prince of England's and Meghan markle wedding taking place tommorow and the desire crept up again. Anyways I moved into the state and suddenly the desire to call this guy just went from 100 to zero lol. I just can't be bothered mehn. I'm not saying I don't like calling.but the state of "chaser" had me calling him every evening and he never used initiative..it had me waking up to whip breakfast instead of getting served, I'm.serving. there's nothing wrong to serve but I don't want that. There's nothing wrong in being the one that gets fed, cooked for, nd feet rubs and oral sex for fuck sake. Haha. Anyways since I'm bloody God, I can get whatever I want. So I've moved and very excited for the experiences that will follow. Ain't nobody got time for all that chasing serving domestic nonsnense. No offence to the women that do enjoy doing this Of course. Do what u love babes, everyone has different desires. Thanks for reading?
I know that you're supposed to just imagine being "happy wife"...
It's perfectly okay to desire what you want. I don't want to be a traditional housewife either, I'd love to be a happy wife but under my conditions. I love being taken care of and I love someone who supports me. I don't chase anymore but with that comes a very long period of silence. THere are a lot of lazy men out there who don't like to chase either and those who do, I don't like very much. It seems like the kind of men that I like don't want to chase either but love to get all the attention or maybe I wasn't their type and they do all the chasing with the more beautiful women. However, don't feel bad what you want.
Thanks hun but don't imagine that men are lazy..they are definitely not. I've seen it first hand.. they will chase u if that's your state. They will buy you clothes jewellery, take u to dinner. Ah u don't even know. I'm serious o. I stopped doing all that because I wanted to be equal and have rights to pay for my own shit. Bloody hell. I have rights and I rightly want to be spoiled. Thank u. Haha just enter your state and forget about the who. They or he will show up and spoil u like you never even expected and you'll come back and testify haha!
egho2 I want to be chased by the right men, not by married, old, unfit, broke, passionless men which was my experience in the past. To be treated is nice if he is the right one. Have fun with your being chased experiences.
priya4170 who says they have to be married? The men that chased me were not married or unfit or broke. Infact broke men don't chase, they don't have money to do that.. so imagining being chased, taken care of, and loving the feeling of being cared for, will take care of the hows and specifics. Don't be bothered with specifics
When you admit what your actual desires are.... it's PARTY TIME!? YOU ARE the LIFE of the party!? Go go go!
Hehe! Tell me about it! What a relief. From war to dance hahaa thanks
I’m married. But I swear sometimes I feel like you are dishing out the secrets in my own soul.
Haha if I am, if there's any part of u that has those desires, pls just stop hiding from dem. Imagine what implies the fulfilment and in no distant time, so it will be..why wait?? When u can truly live the life u want! Ah ah no no. I've dated a man that didn't want me to lift a finger and I've dated the opposite too. The difference? My states. Infact the same man I've been seeing for a while, I'll tell u a story about him. I changed his sheets (me trying to play wifey in my state of chaser), he came back home and said I didn't fit it right haha.
I moved states today, nigga came back from work and sent me a text (I'm at work) saying "thanku for cleaning the house babe). U know the funny thing? I DIDNT clean the house. The place is still exactly the same. I did the dishes but he was there in the morning when I did the dishes and it was a joint effort no big deal. But when I put in all my energy to change the sheets and do the laundry without him asking, he didn't care. Haha. Anyway that's just an example i guess but I'm not looking for signs. Just wanted to show the difference your state makes even with the same person.
egho2 I promise I didn’t come on your post to make it about me but can I just tell you where I have been fucking up? I wanted attention. So I started manifesting some sex. Wonderful. Now I get attention from 11 to 11:10, not one drop more attention than that, and he acts like I should be grateful for it. Somehow I think I am still making it about him.
liz3783 first of all, dont imagine i mind u making my post about me. I enjoy the shares. 2nd, move past attention into the end. What do u really want? What would his attention make u feel? Loved? Cherished? Special? Desired? "Like a queen"?( this is a common Nigerian one. That's why Nigerian men naturally find themselves chasing and catering..Nigerian women are in states where we naturally expect a man to do that) Anyway move to the end and enjoy. Rest in that end.
I was doing that and moving into the state of the feeling and taking out The Who, and I found myself being less and less interested in him, which of course caused discord in the house. I think I’m feeling gun shy about it now. I wish I could see about 20 feet out from us, because I’m too close to see things clearly.
liz3783 just continue imagining your wish fulfilled.. Don't bother about how u got there. Don't look for signs. Rest in the fact that it's done. Doesn't matter the who and the how.. imagine him happy..imagine yourself into your wish fulfilled and now the responsibility is not yours anymore to make happen. Enjoy
It’s great fun exploring your true desires ? Looking forward to your shares. I’ve started creating my own dance too. Let’s have some fun Egho ?
Yes yes can't wait. Pls enjoy haha
Go be it gorgeous. You may even find yourself in the world of D/s (Dom/sub) with a gorgeous partner. Who knows, the point is, be open with you, be honest with you. Then the party can really begin ?
And FUCK was that awful!!!!
The moment I FULLY surrendered was like a WHOLE new world opened up for me.....it is gorgeous ?
It gives soooo much to ME.....which of course is the opposite of what I was so scared of ?
yasemin5 yeah, I recognize that in myself. People around me would say that I give way too much of myself already and I think I am afraid if I give anymore I will be invisible. Isn’t that a sad story? But the truth is that I have been very self absorbed in what is I’m sure a perfectly normal growth period when you learn all the fun you can have with your desires, and I’m being impatient because I planted that one hours ago and why the fuck isn’t it here yet? If I’m being completely honest, that’s my problem. ?
yasemin5 oh I get what u mean now. U wanted to be taken care of but u also wanted to play "Mrs independence I can do it all " hahahahahahahaahaha pls don't bother hahahahahahahaha I done it too. I was arguing with a man that I could carry his heavy pail of water and insisted on washing the car when he was not interested in having me wash his car. "Just go and rest your legs baby", he said. I said "No! Why? Becuae I'm a woman?!" Haha I was literally trying to force myself to help with the car when I really can't be bothered with that. I woke up today from my very comfy bed to make him breakfast when he alr3ady said "I'll sort something out". The man is not bothered with all that but my state of chasing and catering had me to doing that until I realized I didn't like it one bit.
yasemin5 I totally get that. I love it and can imagine clearly what that feels like. But what if he didn’t respond to your state of surrender? I guess that’s why I am wondering who it started in the mind of first.
I don't like doing the everyday things. I mean I like folding boxers and doing cute things for the man I love, but not cooking or cleaning or ironing. In my country we say "he treats her like an egg " egg Becuase he's afraid you'll break. This was an issue with the feminists but I like being egg. I don't want to break eh haha?
yasemin5 your answer immediately resonates with me and I agree. But there is still that nagging idea that he can refuse the state. But then I remember a Neville story about why it took 9 days to get him out of the military and the day he was out was the very day the officer relented and accepted the state of Neville leaving. So persist in the state...interesting. ?? (Funny how it’s almost always the logical answer we can miss...)
yasemin5 obviously I have to soar yas. I can't help but soar. I'm God. If I desire something, I imagine I already have it, and boom!. What other way to soar is there? This is also a desire I was suppressing and I decided to imagine it's fulfilment and enjoy myself eh. Haha I want to cross my legs let the men cook me dinner. Call it lazy, it doesn't matter haha. If he can't cook, he can get me a chef I don't give a hoot how it happens. HAHAH Thnk God for Neville hahaha..also I allowed this to also spread into sex. Imagined feeling like my needs are being met and I feel taken care of even in bed. I know that feeling. I've had it twice before. So I know it. When the focus is all on me being satisfied not the other way round. So "taken care of " state seems to be my thing eh hehe
Holy hell guys slightly off topic but I just had a breakthrough.
I assumed that if a person denied a state, that was it. It went elsewhere. I don’t know why I assumed that. But I got this image of a desire traveling and searching for the path of most ease, but all of the options are always in constant motions themselves, so things shift and move and make way, until the desire has been realized. It was like I was seeing in binary code when it’s more like the matrix.
yasemin5 lol haha I rather try on the state of "taken care of " nd enjoy the pampering. I'm not joking this has happened before. Where they wanna take u shopping. Give u what u want. Get u a chef. Cleaner. Everything. Actually a lot of people in Nigeria live like that..my stepmom had a maid, babysitter, cook, gateman, driver, (she had the choice to drive if she wanted and do whatever she wanted but she also had the option not to if she didn't want to).. I'm telling u. I went to visit them and she was sweeping the floor when my dad ran out of the room yelling at me for "allowing" her to sweep the floor haha it was hilarious. He acts like she's the queen of England. But I can't blame the woman, that's what she wants. That's her state. She stated complaining that he's become stingy and stopped buying her things but I'm sure she moved that's why. Becuae for 12 years, she used his credit card to buy whatever she wanted and he was happy to provide. Even though she had her own money. So.... it's happening everyday and I like that..
And if I didn't want to do it at the time I would resist like there was no tomorrow ?
Even though I could FEEL that if I just simply MOVED and did it, everything would shift for me!
So one day I decided that if/when that feeling came up, I would move immediately!
....and simply surrender.....ahhh the bliss that followed! ?
Sooooo much freedom!!!
Well it seemed a lot deeper than that 25 minutes ago, but in my defense I had just smoked my one hitter. But yeah, you make much more sense.
Now I need to scroll up to remind myself WHAT Andrew said ??
LOVELY SHARES MATES!?
I may have some regrets over this conversation now that we are in the light of day. ??
You just did it Anja!?
You SURRENDERED to the DESIRE to get an answer, an example...?
Yep, we have hundreds of desires a day.....the key is noticing them! ?
Love the chase!
Well good for u! Haha nice!
I know what you mean. I desire to be married to a man and being kept woman. Or even having a sugar daddy. I want him to be more into me than I am into him.
Hahaha are u South African? Haha a cute sugar daddy tho right? Maybe a sexy Italian heir. Hahaha I don't want anybody with big belle abeg
Follow the Golden Rule
do unto others what you would have them do unto you.
In this case simple.. are you ok with men using you for money would you be ok with it?
what do you really want here? loved adored? then go to THAT END
okay cool.. why do you want him to be wealthy?
gautham9154 financial freedom, security, traveling internationally, luxury shopping, good health insurance, not having to work 9 to 5 job (tbh I don't want to have to work at all ), drive a Mercedes, and just the freedom of choice money provides. That's what I desire.
So you made it about him... Make it about you
Yes Exactly. You want that for yourself don't you (all that you mentioned above) then feel yourself already being that.
Then feel happy about the way it all came about FROM THE END, that implies nothing distasteful was part of the bridges..
Good on you for seeing this, egho2. Half of the way to getting something is knowing that you want it ?
As far as considering that having things done for you is wrong, where in the world did you get that?
I know lots of women who consider it their duty to do stuff for their husbands. I don’t know any that claim to enjoy it wholeheartedly
Haha some women enjoy cooking and cleaning and catering for their men. I can't lie about that because if I said all women hated that, that means I'm believing that everyone has only one desire which wouldn't make sense. Just like some men like being catered for, some like doing the catering. Some like balance half and half. Everyone is different. But I don't have time for half and half..I like being pampered infact over pampered and I don't know why I was trying to be another way. Mrs independence haha
I don’t think we women fully appreciate the value men themselves place on making the woman happy.
I remember there was this ad for a dating service with just the girl in the picture, lying in the bed, looking relaxed. It said nothing to me whatsoever (except that they had sex the night before ?). I asked a male friend about it and he said it makes a guy feel like she is waiting for him to make her breakfast in bed.
You know, I never would’ve thought that a woman waiting for you to do something for her would be a good ad for a dating service. But men do ?
OK, since I am in a roll, here is one more example ?
scott1 and I were watching this older couple (both with pure white hair, so at least in their 80s) getting into their car. The guy opened the car door for his wife and Scott and I both went “awwww”.
I was mystified. Fine, I was identifying with the woman being courted way into her 80s, but why would a guy find this so adorable? Scott said that only a man who was happy would still do such things.
There you have it, ladies. When men do things for us, it is a sign of their happiness for them ???
I love these examples lyana thank u!
"Men do things for us" because men do things for us......nothing else ?
True. No other cause. If they're happy doing it, it's because we imagined that state and the participants just happen to play their part happily. Or should I say "I"?
Ha ha ha hehehe
Me.. I love mixing it up. Variety is the spice of life. Today I’m in the mood to cook you a 7 course meal with an all nighter follow through ? Tomorrow I may decide it’s a pamper day for me. Doesn’t need to be a fixed state.
You'd be welcome at the round table with that kinda attitude Carla ??
YES! YES! YES...?
I lived in that 'christian wife submit to husband' state for a while and I was raging inside!
Until I came here, studying Neville and the Bible...
I dropped that shit.. I do what I do because I want to do it.. It is freeing!
BOOOOM AND SUPER BOOOOOM!
Amen sister! Hahaha. I did that. We fought all the time. And I blamed him. If I knew about this, I would never have blamed him, I would have just moved.
I would rather just go straight to eating delicious food with my honey, doesn't matter who cooked it?
It's gonna have to be someone else than me cos I can't cook lol! I mean well who knows I HAVE attracted guys who would cook for me including my ex husband! He'd phone his mum in Egypt to get recipes and apparently it's rare for Egyptian men to cook! But HE WOULD! And I've had other boyfriends who did one had a mum who did etc. Oh another took us to restaurants so you can certainly manifest not needing to cook for him ?I'm also open to a guy with his own place who can cook & teaches me and I have the time to learn and do it! There's many ways we can be fed ??
Ermmm but if he wants a woman who does the cleaning? Yeah he's shit outta luck there ??but I can make his life rock in so many other ways lol that includes outside the bedroom too I add - in case some of your minds went THERE ?
And guys who want women with long nails & perfectly done hair? That ain't me either I DO have pretty hair though ?
Do you feel that adorable? I know that I used to have problems with accepting attention and gifts and most of those things you mentioned. My mother used to make gifts sound like pity and charity and I grew up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of hugging, gift giving and where my mom did all of the domestic stuff. So I didn’t know anything about being “spoiled”. I didn’t realize I didn’t know until a couple of men got upset that I was rejecting everything they tried to do for me. Lol. It took a while for me to be ok with saying yes and thank you. And now I fully expect men to be gentlemen...and they are. I only meet men who want to spoil me, both potential mates and friends. Most strangers go out of their way to hold doors open with a smile. One coworker (a supervisor) used to greet me as “Queen ahmna” (my name with an accent ?). The guys who work at gas stations are extra sweet, one tells me he loves me every time he seems me. ?NOW I get shocked when I come across men who don’t act like gentlemen. I think it all changed when I told myself it’s ok to be adored and “spoiled”
Prior to finding Neville I thought I wanted to be remarried but really the last thing I want is to be responsible for another's life I wouldn't mind a partner but a husband... that type of commitment no way.
Sandra Rose, I think it's cos of certain parts of being married I think I could have done without - like the pressure to have kids (no thanks!) I was 100% faithful but I DIDN'T want to wear my ring everyday because sometimes I wanted to wear different rings for fashion! That didn't go down well with my colleagues - even though I didn't so much as LOOK at another men when married! Sharing the TV remote. Uh! PLUS I liked waiting to meet my ex hubby when he was my boyfriend, I hope he arrives soon, ooh there he IS! Yay I see him now! and feeling that excitement and also being told I look good (or beautiful or whatever or just a nice comment on my outfit cos he hadn't seen me get ready like he did when he was a hubby. I liked of course waking up to him & breakfast in bed! But yeah I'd be perfectly happy just to have a live out boyfriend again in a relationship that was a wonderful one, with a wonderful and gorgeous (to me) person who thinks I'm wonderful and gorgeous too! I also grew out of wanting a wedding years ago. My honeymoon was awesome though!!! Even though we just married in a registry office but my honeymoon was fantastic, beach honeymoon and faboulous
I don't feel like I'd be responsible for someone's LIFE! but - although I STILL don't know WHY Luke said all that romantic stuff to me & what that's all about (who knows if I EVER will but OK)..when I said "I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me, although of course I'd LIKE it to be with me! But I want you to be happy." He replied something like: "I'll do whatever I can to make you happy, I'd love to make you happy!" (Damn I wish I could remember word for word LOL!) but I thought well that's beautiful but honey only I can make me happy!
I know exactly what you mean Egho. I love the feeling of being taken care of, but at the same time I love the feeling of cooking for my family. I don’t necessarily love cleaning up either. My state of loving wife has me dotting over my partner, while my state of happy wife has him falling over himself trying to serve me. I love the amazing play we get to do. Also it’s so freaking refreshing to know I can switch it up as and when I please
I LOVE your post
Thanks for this post egho2. I totally understand what you mean. I also want to be adored, taken care of, treated like a princess. I don’t want to work, cook, clean house. I want my partner to provide financial security or any other way so I don’t have to work. I always wanted this but I suppressed that desire too. I am not a feminist and I happy with accepting that.
If u want financial security, dont make it about him. Go to that end. It's your desire so make it about you. Experience in imagination what would imply it's fulfilment. The state of "taken care of" or "cherished" or whatever, takes care of all the "I want my partner to do this and that " so u don't look for signs u just know you're adored and taken care of and he will inevitable reflect that feeling of your. Wanting a cook and a maid, Who says he has to pay 4 it? Who says he doesn't? Just imagine what implies u have that kind of freedom and that will happen in its own natural way. Treat it like evry oda desire
neeti3572 any time u have any desire, imagine it's fulfilment. That's it!. Imagining "being loved" doesn't ruin your "happily married bun" it only adds to it lovingly. You will have millions of desires, some relating to each other and some not, but always imagine the fulfilment as soon as u get the desire..Don't wait to analyse it or see if it's done in the right order. Takes two seconds. And rest in it